Anonymous asked: i think st. valentine should forgive you. i don't like seeing you this upset. :(
haha i hope he will as well, but it’s not that simple. naww i’m not totally upset tho, and of course i’m not totally delighted about it either. i think i sorta explained it in my #prouddiary entry yesterday… so yea. :’)
This is your life. Stop pondering about decisions and just go for it.
Yea, you might think this is a pretty easy statement to say and a billion times harder to actually achieve in real life. You’re right about that, but hey, if it was that easy to blurt out, a billion times harder can’t be that hard.
Those who know me personally might find me really hypocritical for saying this, just cause I’m not really doing everything I love: the subjects I’m taking at school, the activities I engage in, the events I have to attend… blah blah blah, the list goes on. But that’s not the point. What I’m trying to bring across here is that even with the constant constraints that we live under, even if, on the surface, we may not be doing what we really want to do, we can still fight for it everyday. Take me for example. Sure, my current life and future career is practically dictated and controlled by my parents (asiansss) and I’m obligated to conform to the many traditions and practices at home, but I can still have my own creative outlet. I really wanted to become a dancer when I was little, an artist, and even a flight attendant. And sure, I’ve told myself before: why not go for it? But then I sat down to really think about it and realised that I can also achieve the same things I’m looking for in those occupations even if I’m not exactly working in that area. I can still dance even if I’m not at a professional performing arts school anymore. I can still design, paint and draw in my spare time. I can still travel around the world through the air and meet different people without being a flight attendant. Essentially what I’m saying is, even if YOLO, you don’t have to exactly go for what you want to be, because what needs to come will eventually come. You can continue dreaming about all the things you want to do, and think about all the people you want to meet, all the different place you want to go to. But you don’t have to stop dreaming at the end of your dream. Continue, let your imagination soar. If you truly want to achieve your goals, you’ll get there no matter what or who is in the way. If you really want to be a fashion designer, but your parents won’t let you, you can still work in another profession and take up fashion designing as a hobby first. Then, if all goes well and if people like your designs, you might even start blogging about it and sharing with people. And if that picks up, great! You’ll be ‘ready’ enough to ditch your (less-loved) career and go for your dream career. Alternatively, if you don’t make it up on top, you don’t have to stop either. You can still continue your passion and continue creating what you want to create. No one is here to stop you except yourself. Right now your life might be trapped in a boat, steered by your parents’ decisions, but that doesn’t mean you have to be stuck with those decisions forever. Nor do you have to completely rebel against them to get what you want. This is your life. Do what you want. But first, why not give it a shot and just step back a little for your parents to guide you. And alongside their guidance, don’t stop believing in yourself and chase for your dreams. This might sound completely insane or you might think I make no sense. How can your dreams come true if you’re not chasing them? Well on the surface you might not be, but if your heart is bound tightly enough to your dream, the two will never separate. Even if your life is leading you down a completely different path, at the same time you could be digging your tunnel to another path - your path.
(To V again: sorry sorry sorry. please forgive me. you’ve just been stuck on my mind the whole day and it’s really annoying, in a really really good and lovely way. I really can’t think of anything I can do from miles and miles away, except to send you my best wishes and hope you’re doing well :’) ily ♥, 2∞&→)
So yea, dont’ stop believing in your dreams, in yourself. They might not even seem remotely possible right now, but someday (nobody knows when), they will come true in one form or another.
(Source: proudofwhoyouare.com)
You can cry about not being with someone you love, but you don’t have to cry forever.
Sure, it’s hard and all, but you’ve got to get over it someday. You’ll try to not think about that person. You’ll try to delete everything photo, message and even the last form of communication you have with them. You might even try leaving and going to another place to avoid seeing anything that could remind you of that person. This is all great. And I’m not telling you in anyway not to try these things. But this can only be a phase. You can go on and cry about this person. This person you loved so much and might still love, but you can’t cry about them forever. A person might mean the world to you and you might have promised each other “forever and always”, but you never promised each other to be sad and depressed for that length of time. You might not talk to each other anymore, but if you truly loved them, they’ll never ever leave your mind. Which, may at first seem like the sad part of the story, but is in fact a good thing. Hey, what’s wrong with having created some great and tear-jerking memories that you’ll never forget? We might be really upset over not being able to create more of those sorts of memories, but shouldn’t we instead cherish that we were fortunate enough to be able to live them in the first place? It’s hard, yes, to move on in life without the one you love. It’s hard to live knowing the person might be better off or with someone else. It’s even harder when the memories of you together come back and you start tearing up. But that’s also the beauty of it. After a while, you can start to realise and understand that it really isn’t the end of the world, and a loved one will always remain a loved one. Why live life grieving about moments you wish you could have, when you can go back in time and relive those exact lovey-dovey moments in your head? Hey, at least you’ve been through them. This, I think, is where I’m finally getting to. Each breakup, no matter when or who, will require phases of time afterward that help make you get back up on your feet and start living this beautiful life again. First, you might get extremely upset, and even outraged. You might get angry and all and may even say things you wish you had never said. Then, you move on to crying about it and mourning over the fact that you are no longer together with that special someone. And this phase might be the longest, most painful phase ever. During this phase thoughts of what you could’ve done, what you could’ve said, what you could’ve been will circulate in your head. Some people might even journey to extreme ends where self-harm occurs. But we must remember that this is only a phase. Only a length of time that will eventually pass by. We must remember during this phase that we’re only in the darkest section of a tunnel that leads to another chapter in life. The end of the tunnel, where we see light again and where we can finally take a deep breath and leave worries behind, is the final phase. The phase that I’m hopefully reaching soon. The phase when we learn to live independently again. We might still have traces and thoughts of that one person who we love so dearly lingering in our heads, but that doesn’t matter. These after thoughts shouldn’t bring us down at all. They shouldn’t make us tear up again and again, day after day. Instead, when fully and positively utilised, these thoughts can empower us to continue our lives. For those who are still going through the tunnel, or have not even been in a tunnel yet (for which i really envy you), it might be difficult to understand what I’m saying or to think that I’m merely minimalising the impact of a break up. But for those who have been through numerous tunnels already or are also going through the same stage as I am, I’m sure you can relate to this. Hey, it’s alright to cry. It’s alright to break down. It’s okay not to be okay. But you don’t have to stay like this forever. If you still love them, then continue. There’s no problem with that. Personally, I don’t think I’ve ever been so in love with the person I’m thinking of right now ever before. And it’s killing me everyday to know that they don’t want to talk to me again. But at the same time, I’m happy. I’m happy not because I can survive without them, not because I can live without them, not because I don’t need them anymore. I still do. How, you might ask, do I manage then if I still need them? - the memories. the thought of them. and personally, their smile. that’s what keeps me going. If you truly love a person that much, it doesn’t matter if the love is requited or not.
(and to V again: i’m sorry. i really really am. all i want is for you to talk to me again. I know you might have gone through a lot, or even still going through a lot. but if we never talk about it, we’ll get nowhere. hey, you pinky promised. ♥2∞&→)
People change, memories don’t.
(Source: proudofwhoyouare.com)
nurizzhanani asked: Hey there :-) Thanks for the follow. You have a nice blog btw! x
no problem! i like your blog too! :)
